Fighting Myself Fighting God

Take a look at the clip of this Kate Dillon interview and you will be impressed at her attitude and how she has dealt with her experiences of being an overweight child to being an anorexic supermodel and now a healthy happy plus size supermodel. I was moved at how she gave up modeling at the height of her career just so she could save her life. Unfortunately not many women are that strong in the industry, instead they choose fame and fortune over their own well being. Well is that kind of sacrifice worth it? If it brings you joy and internal fulfillment why not? But if it  forces you to accept harsh criticism about your weight and nearly puts you to death then I would assume that it's not that good for you. But when it comes to being noticed and accepted and adored many women will give their souls just for just a taste of adoration. Why? So they can feel good about themselves. So what do they do? They develop eating disorders, attitudes and thoughts of self hatred, lack of self acceptance and appreciation and they also put their bodies and health in danger. How do I know because that is my biggest battle right now and being a Christian you would think that I would have a better attitude towards myself and my health and not feel that I need validation from others. But as  I was listening to Kate Dillon she said something that made sense to me. At one point in her life she asked herself "Why am I fighting myself?" Never had a question made so much sense to me. So why am I fighting myself and stopping myself from living a healthy lifestyle and why am I fighting God? Why do I insist on doing things my way when my way brings nothing but chaos, guilt, decietfulness and shame.

If God sees me as a his Princess, why do I treat myself like garbage? I  have been wathcing a lot of plus size fashion shows and I have to say that those women are beautiful not just because of their looks, but because they are not ashamed of their bodies and they feel good about themselves not because somebody told them but because they feel it. They don't hurt themselves and they don't curse themselves they strut their stuff and they are proud. Lets face it we have turned beauty into a machine and have become robots commanded on how to feel about ourselves that we are nobody unless we walk the red carpets, what we should eat what we should wear and I tell you it's maddening. As women of every shape and size, we have to see ourselves as our creator sees us and appreciate what he has done. We need take care of it by feeding it properly moving it often and don't forget to accessorize. We are all beautiful and God does not make mistakes. Lets take back our individuality and start looking beyond ourselves and bit higher. Because we're worth it!!!!